The Reclusive RolePlayer

I am actually currently slowly working on a new short story. It will be something a lot different from my usual writing but just as sexy! Expect in like weeks or months haha

The idea just came to me one night when I was super bored and I got a little distracted so its only started but I guess I will give a bit of a teaser and say its actually Lesbian Erotica so I am very excited to see how it ends ^_^

So after 2 or 3 weeks of blowing me off and not even bothering to talk to me do I give him a last chance for a 2nd date this coming week?

I really liked him, we clicked so well and I continue to see how similar we are but there are also 2 other guys I would really like to give a chance as well.

On top of that Ghosty is bugging me to come to St Kitts for a visit…..

So do not know what to do at all.

Cause at the end of the day I’m wondering what your actually doing in KC….And if you actually meant what you said cause I did and now your just as bad as Hit leaving me here like this constantly wondering.

How did I go from no menz to too many menz to keep up with :o

FML

Well after ignoring my wii fit for over a year 420 days to be exact TEHEHE

I actually lost about 10lbs ^_^

I’m so sweaty and I want a grilled cheese :< 

Okay maybe not a myth but seems forbidden lately. And like always when I put it all on the line and open my heart it gets torn out so why oh why am I such a maso…..

Not that my love for getting my heart stomped on is limited to real life but it happens frequently in game as well…..so pointless because they never go away and neither do the feelings…..

So here I go about to let my Wii Fit Plus tell me Imma fat ass and i need to play more fucking often. Which is 100% true and most likely won’t happen as I am too wired in most of the time…..Only reason I’m blogging is because PWI randomly went down tonight so Imma smoke a bowl and do some yoga while I tell myself its his loss for being a shallow bastard cause im a fucking amazing slave and even more amazing woman to call your own. HIS FUCKING LOSS RIGHT. Yeah just keep telling myself that over and over and then go eat some grilled cheese to make myself feel better.

Of course it’s going to rain but nothing could really change how I am feeling right now ……I want to scream in happiness but I better not jinx it. Will he still feel the same when he looks into my eyes….. I hope so :) Hopefully this will be the start of something beautiful <3

I read something on a profile the other day, A male Dom explaining what led him to be a dom.

He stated he started as a slave but ended up filling the roll of Dom feeling he could do it so much better himself.

I guess a part of me thinks that way as well. After being all over the map for so long I have really settled on slave for a long while with no avail.

I start to wonder if I let the sadist within me come out what would the result be? I also wonder if training a perfect kajirae would fill that hole in my heart.

When I first started out in Gorean Way I actually was more interested in being a Mistress rather than a kajira but I fell so deeply in love with the protocol of being a kajira I stuck with it.

Then I also start to wonder maybe these feelings are just pointing to what would one day be my perfect situation. Being 1st girl to a Dom and having a 2nd girl serving us, more so domestically and for play than sex of course.

I must think on this further I think~

Yep thats right I am writing an actual blog post.

I was going through my Fetlife over the past few days reading my writings and looking throw my inbox and its made me think.

Think of all the friendships I destroyed, of all the bad relationships I saved myself from.

Mostly it made me think about how I have grown so much in 3 years.

From 16-19 I went from the kneeling girl in the RP chats to the fierce slave girl that knows what she wants and takes no ones shit.

I’m still in love with the Gorean ways but I am also smart enough to realize that the Gorean Community is not the place for me. So many close minded people that think since its written in ink it must be so. So few beautiful people that actually discuss and share and adapt their love of Gor to real life.

Yet in the same breath I am as unhappy with the BDSM community.

I was always told I was too young or too inexperienced but now that I am legal and experienced I’m disgusted.

I want someone real, to be mine, to be theirs, to laugh and learn with me, to experience an amazing M/s relationship something my life has been seriously missing.

So I slowly plan to immerse myself back into the local community although I cannot hide the fact that I do not plan to find much.

Also hoping it will give me the inspiration back to start writing here more regularly.

The following is a short Gorean Style Erotica.

Please read with discretion.

NSFW.

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Kayesha exhaled deeply as she pushed her head of oil black hair from beneath the glossy surface of the Sea of Reality. With one quick of her left hand she slicked her hair back and slowly walked onto the shore. Water beaded down her icy colored skin, following her tattoos like cars on a race track. Her toes softly dug into the sand as she headed towards Morning Star Valley. The ground was still dewy, but the cold on her bare feet didn’t bother her any.  Spring had just arrived, so early morning chill was perfect to watch the sunrise. Morning Star Valley had always been Kayesha’s favorite place. Between the drastic color change from the rest of the island and the infamous inhabitant of the big white fire tree as she called it, the valley was usually pretty empty. This was exactly how Kayesha liked it.

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